How thriving in a toxic relationship can kill your self-esteem


How thriving in a toxic relationship can kill your self esteem.Pic.jpg

A couple of years ago, long before I even thought about getting married, I managed to stumble upon a group of young women who were recounting some of their marital experiences.

A lot was shared amongst these ladies as I sat and listened in on their conversations. And while I found that some of these women were having fun and enjoying their marital rides, some others weren’t as lucky as the former group.

In particular, I remember very candidly a comment that was made by one of the women in the second group. She said, “the dating phase is far better than the marriage phase.” Why? Because she said while dating as a young woman, you tend to have a voice, but not so much, when you get married.

And I must tell you that her statement has stuck with me ever since that time. Because not only was it very apparent that this particular woman suffered from a low self-esteem, but also because when we probed further to ask her what she was doing about her situation, she responded that she was just ok with having her husband provide for her and her children. And she went further and said that how else he decided to treat her wasn’t ever going to change the fact that she was always going to be his wife!

How did society ever allow us to get here? Why would anyone ever think their whole life has to change about 360 degrees just because they promised to commit to someone?

This issue is still very prevalent even till this day as it has permeated through all of society. And although women seem to be more at the receiving end of this societal ill, I dare say that no gender is completely exempt.

Both men and women continue to thrive in toxic relationships because of the constraint society have placed on them.

People want to portray themselves in good light and would do everything possible to keep it that way even if it is to their own detriment. And in this age where the internet and social media actually dictates how and what we want to project to the world, a lot really needs to be said about this issue.

I see so many people abused and degraded. We hear of countless stories of domestic abuse and violence. We have even heard and seen people lose their lives all because they continued to thrive in toxic relationships that gradually ate away the core of their personalities.

You do not need to continue suffering in silence. You do not need to continue to thrive in a relationship that is actually killing you slowly.

Because apart from the physical and mental torment that relationship subjects you to, you are also being subjected to a whole blaze of emotional torment.

Without even realizing it, you are gradually giving away a part of you which is pushing you into that very horrible spot of a low self-esteem.

Enough of the pretense and reach out and get the help that you need. There are so many help and counseling centers all around us. Take the best next step and do what is right for your life.

Do you know the people that stand to lose the most if anything evil happens to you as a result of you continuing to thrive in that toxic relationship?

It’s your family and loved ones. It’s the people who have invested so much in you to make sure you turn out a responsible citizen of society. Don’t let these people down. Do the next right thing.

And one more thing, you do not have to worry about what the internet or social media says about you. Because, as long as there is life, there is always hope for a better tomorrow.

So, keep your head up, square your shoulders and reach out to the nearest counseling center for the much-needed help that will set you free!

Peace and love,


I regularly write here. Press the follow button at the bottom of this page or reach out to me here.



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