I recently spoke with some people who told me how ashamed they were for a long time because they felt inadequate about some aspects of their lives.
When I listened to these people speak, I totally and completely related a 100 percent to everything they shared with me. Because, at a particular point in my own life, I had also experienced some form of self-shame.
This self-shame held me back. It limited the places I visited, who I hung out with and generally affected how I carried myself in public, including how I related to others.
Shame is a very bad feeling. It is a killer of destinies and potentials.
When we look ourselves in the mirror and wish that we were some other people both in form or character, it connotes a negative imagery of self in our minds’ eye.
Shame can make you grounded in one spot. It can make you redundant, unproductive and unappealing.
Shame can make you withdrawn, introverted and even anti-social.
So, shame is no friend of anyone, because it doesn’t appear to bring along with it anything positive. A feeling that makes you feel less than other humans is definitely not something you want to be a part of your life.
The truth is that we all experience shame from different circumstances.
For some, it is the shame of our physical appearances. The feeling that we are unattractive due to some perceived or real flaws in the way we look.
For others, it might be shame related to their careers, social status, families, health, relationships or other mundane reasons that make us wish we were other people.
And yet for another set of people, it may be shame arising from the comparison. Comparison of their lives with those of their peers, families, friends or other associates. And these days, it is so easy to compare one’s successes or failures with that of others especially with the ease with which information is transmitted on the internet and social media.
You can never live a fulfilled life if yours is constantly plagued by shame. And I believe that at some point in our lives, many of us have been guilty of this feeling.
So, what are you ashamed of? What do you wish was never a part of your life? A bad relationship, job or career?
Or are you ashamed of a bad habit, addiction problem or some kind of ‘perceived failure’?
The truth is that as much as we sometimes try to hide it, many people are dealing with one or more issues which you may never be aware of.
As humans, we only try to show the world the ‘seemingly’ good sides of our lives, while we tend to hide all that dirty stuff from the view of the public.
So, you do not really need to be ashamed of anything and anyone. Because, we all are having to deal with our own individual challenges, even if it is to varying degrees.
Don’t be swayed by that friend of yours who seems to have it all together on social media.
Don’t spend your time wishing your relationship, marriage, children, career or family were like someone else’s.
You do not have to continue living in shame because of that challenge you are dealing with. Perpetually living in shame would limit your ability to rise above that “flaw” and move towards finding a solution.
And what is worse? You would never really live to fulfill your highest potentials if you allow the judgment or yardsticks of the world define who you become in this world.
So, what are you still ashamed of? It’s time to forget about what everyone else thinks and begin to live your life as the real you!
Peace and Love,