If you have been trying very hard at something, and you find that you are not making any headway with what you are trying to achieve, it can leave you feeling desperate, despondent or outright frustrated.
And the feeling may be worse when you think you might have given it your best, but yet still experiencing the same results like when you just started out.
I wouldn’t try to sugar-coat my own experience with failure here, because it sucks. I have met people who tell me they would not agree that they ever failed at something. Rather, they said they preferred to think that they didn’t succeed at what they wanted. And didn’t consider such circumstances as failures.
While I do not in any way judge them for their perspective on the subject, I would like to just say it as it is. I have tasted failure, and the feeling was horrible, so horrible that it pushed me to write my first book (light at the end of the tunnel experience, right?)!
But here is the deal. Failing at something is not the problem. The problem is what you decide to do after experiencing repeated bouts of failure.
For several years, I had been trying out a career advancing path that left all my efforts in ruins. I found that the more I gave it my best, the worse my outcome became.
I tried out everything I had been used to. Methods and approaches that I had always followed, with just a little tweaking. Every. Single. Time.
But, no matter how hard I tweaked a process I was all too familiar with, the results remained quite the same. And after so many attempts and painful tries, with nothing positive to show for all my efforts, it became clear to me that I hadn’t been doing something right.
You see, you cannot expect to get a different result if you continue to do something the same way. The results would be almost identical. And it would continue to remain so, except you decide to do something different.
And for me, I decided to adopt a radical approach, because what I was pursuing meant the world to me.
So, I decided to go rogue and adopted a disruptive approach to a process I had known for a very long time.
There are certain times in a man (or woman’s) life, where our successes or failures are intricately tied to the kind of decisions we take. For me, I call those decisions HARD decisions.
Mind you, these decisions are not sexy. And neither are they funny. But they are decisions that you would have to take if indeed you need to get to where you ought to be in life.
Not everyone would support this decision, and some may even stand in your way in order to prevent you from achieving what you need to get done.
But, if you want to get a different result from what you have been used to, then you need to outrightly disrupt the status quo.
You need to be able to step out of your comfort zone and get your hands dirty. You need to spend those long hours brainstorming on what you need to do differently, in order to get a different outcome.
Disrupting the status quo definitely comes with a lot of risks, uncertainties, and maybe sleepless nights as well. But, you need to be willing to take these bold steps, if you want to secure a different outcome.
Your disruptive decisions may cost you your friends, associates, job, money, or any other thing you consider important to you.
But if what you are working very hard to achieve transcends these other things, then you may need to do the needful and disrupt all the processes you have always been used to.
For me, disrupting the status quo meant that I needed to prune down on my associates (or fake friends) and seek professional help outside the circle I had always been used to.
It also meant that I needed to completely give up some of my social media presence and activities because I later realized that social media was causing me, more harm than good.
This is because of the conflicting information we sometimes get from social media. And in my case, social media was not at all helping the process. It was, in fact, spoiling it. So, I needed to give it up for a while.
So, yes, failure stinks, but only for as long as you allow it. But if you want to register success at something you have been trying very hard to achieve, then it may be time for you to disrupt the status quo.
It may be time for you to step out of your comfort zone and go do something different. And just sit and watch, as you experience a different result.
If it worked for me, chances are that it would, for you as well!
All the very best!!!
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