I held on to the wrong definition of a support system for a long time. For me, it had to do with the numbers. The more people I thought I had around me, the more supportive of me I thought they would be.
But, I was wrong.
A support system is a network of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support. This network can be upwards from 1, but never does it say it has to be a certain number.
For me, I later realized that not everyone I had around me was actually meant to be there. Some were only there for the good days; but what about the ‘not-so-good days?’
What happens when you really need that shoulder to cry on, and suddenly realize that you are alone in the desert?
Remember, that no one is an island. We all need a solid support system, to help us through those times that we may not be at our best.
But the question is, “are you connected to the support system that actually works for you?”
Here, I share 4 quick steps to help you find the one that matches your goals.
4 Steps to Creating a Support system that works for You
- Identify your values. This, I believe is the most important first step in finding out the right support system. There is no point aligning yourself with people that do not share your values or care about your goals. Because, during those moments when you really need their support or help, you may find that their presence could altogether become counter-productive to helping you become a better person.
- Determine if you need a small network of support or a larger group. We are all different, and the possibility that some people would thrive more with numbers is real. So, you have to decide for yourself what works best for you. Do you just need a few responsible individuals who you can turn to when you are having those hard times, or do you need a slew of people you want to unburden your heart to? It’s up to you to make that determination, and do what is right for you.
- Understand that a strong support system has nothing to do with the numbers. Personally, my support system consists of my family and a handful of very close buddies. These are the people I turn to when I just need to pour out my heart to someone. The strength of your support system may have nothing to do with the number of people you are connected with. In fact, sometimes, the more the people, the more the problem. What you need are a few (or large) set of people committed to your welfare, and who are trustworthy enough to give you the best advice, when you need it the most.
- Be committed to your network of support. We are all branches of the tree. We are all connected to one another. The fact that you have others designated as your “support system”, also means you should also be a support system for others. And this has to do with showing your commitment to the causes of others, and ‘showing up’, when necessary. Once in a while, it wouldn’t hurt checking up on others and also making sure that life is not dealing them difficult blows. You have to be willing to do for others, what you want them to do for you.
Not all support systems would work out for you, and not all are actually worth it. But, the main idea is to only seek support from those who are committed to your cause.
It’s better to be alone than to go get advice from the wrong camp. Remember that there is a thing as, “fair-weather” friends. Fair weather friends are people who would only show up when things are rosy and sweet.
But what happens when things turn sour or stale?
In wrapping this up,
Remember that great minds think alike. You need a solid support system to help you through those low ebbs of your life. Do not dull out your spark by seeking support from the wrong associations!
To your continued success. Cheers!!!
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