I had to learn the hard way that not all associations are worth it. Note that I was careful not to use the word “friendships”, because what many consider friendships may just be some careless acquaintances.
Sometimes in life, we may get so comfortable with the people around us, that it becomes very difficult to distinguish between those that have our genuine interests at heart and those that are just hanging around to see how far we can go. And being in this situation is sort of very difficult, because while you are spending so much time and resources in trying to make good on your goals, someone lurking around you may actually be the reason you are not making much progress.As a young career woman still working my way up the ladder of success, I have encountered and actually had people in my life, I never knew were completely anti-progress to my life’s goals. I spent valuable time with such people; the time I should have spent tending to see my dreams become reality. The funny thing about such people is that, because we have become so accustomed to them, we tend to turn deaf ears even when our instincts are saying it loud and clear to us. We tell ourselves, “it’s not possible that this person or that person is interested in seeing me succeed or fail”, and in the end, waste a greater part of our lives with them, till in some unfortunate circumstances, it becomes too late. I do not want you to fall prey to these people and will be showing you who they are. You can either do one of two things to them: either you show them the door out of your life, or you can as well kick them to the back seat, and relinquish them of all their previous rights and privileges. Let’s see who they are:
- People who have nothing Positive to say about your goals. Have you ever come across negative people? Boy, are they the meanest type of people! Once, I had someone whom I had considered a “good” friend say to me, “why are you wasting your time working on that stuff? It sure isn’t going to work out!” Can you imagine the pessimism? That was someone that knew the very tiny details of what I had been working on, and to have heard that from them was really disheartening and discouraging. But once I knew they were not aligned with my goals, I sent them to the backseat! Therefore, my dear friends, you do not have to be nice about this kind of people, because they have one ultimate plan in mind: to frustrate you out of what you are working on with all their negativity, discouragement and pessimism. If I were you, I would either show them the door now or give them a seat at the back of my life.
- People who try to bring down your Personality. There are people who may not be interested in your goals per se, but rather are interested in you as a person. Their target is to bring you down and prevent you from ever making anything good out of your life. These are the people that will say, “you are up to no good”, “you can’t get anything done right”, “you are dull”, “you are foolish”, “you are ugly”, “you are fat”, “you are worthless”, “you are a failure”, etc. How dare they? Whoever made them judges over your life? Nobody has the right to make you feel less than yourself, and so if you still have them around you, it’s time to do either of the 2 things we listed above. These type of people’s mission is to make you feel and look worthless so that you have no inspiration to make good on your life’s goals. You do not need them around you because remember that we become more of what we hear and allow into our hearts. Therefore, keep negative people with all their ill luck far away from you.
- People only interested in how far you have gone, with no value to add. There are some people whose only predisposition is to monitor other people’s progress, without adding anything to it. They are actually mainly interested in seeing that you are not making any progress at all, and so constantly bother you with questions and details of where you are at. Such people, as long as they have no value to add to achieving your life’s goals should either be shown the door out of your life or given a chair at the backseat of your life. You should be more interested in the quality of people you have around you, and not the quantity.
In wrapping this up, setting goals, and actually achieving them is a worthy cause, which should be celebrated. However, if you find that some associations or acquaintances are preventing you from getting to where you desire, it is time to either show them the door out of your life or kick them to the backseat, because you truly deserve better!
To your continued success. Cheers!!!