In many cases, we spend a lot of time talking about how people can choose to turn their lives around, and become successful at their goals. But hardly do we ever talk about the fact that, not all ventures towards our goals actually turn out successful. And that while trying to navigate the path of success, some people may encounter failure. So, in this piece, I will be dwelling on what you may want to do, to move away from that realm of failure, and how to step into something bigger than your imaginations.
Failure, the lack of success or nonfulfillment of set goals, is probably a term most people are familiar with. At some point in our lives, we may have had times when we fell short of expectations, and probably were disappointed in our inabilities to pull a desired feat through. If you have ever been in this position before, or are currently in that position, I have good news for you, because you are not alone.
However, failing at something is not the main issue, but finding it difficult to move on from that dark place of your life, is. This article is written solely to provide you with the tools needed to move on, because you do not have to continue dancing to failure’s trills for any much longer. It is time to pick up the pieces of your life, and move on.
Personally, I have had my own share of failure, and I must tell you that I had to make that decision to move on from that horrible place, even when it was most difficult to do so. You see, we may experience failures with any aspect of our lives: relationships, careers, families, jobs, health, etc. However, the description of what you failed at is not what counts, as “failure is failure,” because everyone’s situation and definition for that term is different. However, what matters is what you decide to do after that phase of your life. How do you move on after such bitter experiences? I will show you.
- Acknowledge the event. Sometimes, when people experience failures, they may want to shy away from the fact that, it has actually happened. That is not the right way to go about it. If you are going to step away from that situation, open up your heart and acknowledge that it has occurred. If you can not handle it alone, look for a dear friend or family member who you can open up to, and just pour out your heart to them.
- Give yourself a treat. I know this may sound odd or out of place, but yes, give yourself a treat! Because in the words of William F. O’Brien, “it is better to fail while trying, than not to try at all”. The fact that you were bold enough to handle that relationship for as long as it lasted, spent sleepless nights preparing very hard for that exam, worked very hard t get that promotion, and yet everything still fell flat like a pack of cards, doesn’t mean you cannot celebrate your efforts. So, rather than beat yourself up, relax, and go out for a drink, or go eat in that nice restaurant. Just go ahead and treat yourself to some tender loving care (TLC).
- Take Responsibilities for your actions. Many times, when we fail at something, the tendency is for us to want to blame others for our mistakes. Even when it is obviously clear that someone else had a hand in the failure you experienced, still take responsibility for it. Why would you ascribe your success or failure to another mortal like you, anyway? Look yourself in the mirror, and own up to your faults or mistakes.
- Do not dwell too much on the failure itself. There is no gain crying over spilled milk, rather, you should be thinking about how to navigate your way again to the grocery store to purchase another one. Do not spend valuable time dwelling o the “what if’s”, and “what if not’s.” What has happened, has already happened. It is time to start looking ahead.
- Draw solace from the fact that almost everyone has failed before. Only very few successful people can actually boast of never experiencing failures in their rise to success. And I doubt that there would be people like that anyway. Some good people to ask include Jack Ma, Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates. But what differentiates these successful Billionaires from you and me is that they chose not to remain in that zone of their failures. They made the decision to step away, and today those dark days of their lives are in the past, and gone forever. So, you are not alone.
- Recognize that you are not competing with anyone. One mistake we often make when we fail is that, we may think we are competing with others who we think are succeeding. But the truth is that your race in life, is completely different from mine, so we obviously are not in any competition. People get to their destinations in life at different speeds, and through different routes. Recognize that your life is yours to live alone. So, do not get pressured by the fact that others may be judging you by some set standards. Everyone has their race to run. Why don’t you focus on running yours, while you leave others to run theirs?
- Reflect on your past mistakes. If you failed at something, it may be that you didn’t get something right, or went about it the wrong way. Or it could totally have nothing to do with what you did right or wrong. Whatever the case, a thorough soul-searching introspective reflection, may help you discover areas in which you may be able to consolidate your strengths on, the next time.
- It’s time to Re-strategize. After carrying out a reflective analysis of what went right or wrong about your past approach, it’s time to re-strategize. Do your own research and find out what you can do better and smarter. You can learn from other people’s experiences, especially those that have walked through the path you are trying to walk on. Whatever you decide, make sure you are putting your best resources towards your strengths, so that you don’t spend time or valuable resources on things or approaches that are low yield.
- Dull out the noise. Failure stinks, but only for how long you allow it to. When you fail, the tendency for other people to laugh at you, mock you or even criticize you is high. But don’t get overwhelmed by that fact, because humans will always be humans, and can only do what humans do. Rather than paying attention to all those distracting noises, focus on the next phase of your life. If possible, get your self some ear muffs or plugs, and completely dull out the noise from people that have no bearing, with where your life’s journey is headed.
- Re-launch and take the necessary actions. After going through the above steps successfully, it is time to do the right thing, by moving on with the next steps. You should be getting ready to re-launch that idea, find another job, move on to another career, or opening your heart to a more rewarding relationship. Whatever you do, the point is, do not remain in that place of failure, because remember, failure is a part of the journey to success. Once you figure it out and the best way to tackle it, the rest becomes history.
In wrapping this up, remember that failures experienced while working towards your goals, do not signify the end of the road. Failures are a part of success’s journey. But when you do fail, rather than spend the rest of the time whining and griping, it’s time to pick up yourself and move on. Remember that there is no gain crying over spilled milk, rather, you should be making plans to go back to the grocery store to get a better and tastier brand! You have the ability to make this happen! I am rooting for you.
To your continued success. Cheers!!!