Self-esteem is defined as a confidence in one’s own worth or abilities. It is also referred to as self-respect, self-pride, self-assurance or self-confidence. It is the way we see, value, and present ourselves to others. It is also the manner in which we communicate our inner fears and insecurities to others, in ways that portray us below some set societal standards or norms. A healthy self-esteem is a key ingredient for achieving success, because it bolsters our confidence to advance towards our goals, even in the face of oppositions.
However, a weak self-esteem is a recipe for living a life full of shame, failure, regrets and guilt. People with low self esteems are never motivated to work on their lives’ goals with the aim of actually achieving them, because, they often discredit themselves before any one else. They never see the good in what they do, or believe that they can actually achieve any good. They constantly blame themselves for everything that goes wrong around them, carrying with them an immense amount of guilt. Such people may also frequently believe that they are undeserving of happiness.Surprisingly, some people may not realize that they suffer from a low self-esteem. But if any of the following applies to you, it may just be signs that you may have a low self-esteem, which you might have been unaware of.
- You always need your opinions to be validated by others: If you find that you are always second-guessing yourself, always seeking for the opinions of others about everything that concerns you, your self-esteem might be on the blink of some overhaul. Self-confident people are assertive. They know what they want and go for it. Even if they sometimes may ask for help or clarification from others, they have the last call, because they know what they actually want. And even when their decisions come back as being faulty, they own up to their faults, and take total responsibility for their actions. But if you find that you cannot get anything done without seeking out the approval of others, your self-esteem may be in need of an overhaul.
- You find it difficult to express your self or opinions to others. This is slightly different from the first point. If you are unable to express your self to others, for fear of being criticized or judged you may be suffering from a low self-esteem. People with healthy self-esteems are often bold and confident to express and share their views, irrespective of what the reactions or interpretations of others may be. And even when other people may not agree with their views on certain topics, are able to voice out their opinions, without fear of bias or prejudice. Whereas, people with low self esteems would rather stay silent, even if they have the solutions to fixing problems, because of the fear of how others may respond to them.
- You do not believe you can do anything right. People with low self-esteems often believe that they have no strengths, and so can never get things done right. And directly stemming from this, is the lack of motivation to even push to get anything done. They deprecate any strengths they have, even if other people see the opposite about them. They would rather spend their time emphasizing all the things they believe can never be done right, and in the process never work to sharpen or improve any skills they possess. If you see yourself doing this a lot, then it may be time for a checkup.
- You believe everyone or most people do not like you. People with low self-esteems, believe strongly that no one likes them. And they end up becoming loners, manifesting limited social interactions with other people. If you find yourself engaging less with other people, it may be time to get a fix.
- You are always moody, sad or have incessant periods of depression. People with a low self-esteem, miss the fact that they are unable to express themselves and mix up or interact with other people. They often feel abandoned, which may often lead to sadness, moodiness or outright depression. If you find that you are feeling this way most of the time, then you may need an overhaul of your self-esteem.
In wrapping this up, having a low self-esteem is a great steal of potential talents and skills. Some people dealing with this are incredibly gifted and talented, but are unable to bless the world with their gifts because of this belittling problem. If you think you may be dealing with this, I have good news for you. There is actually help that you can access, to get you out of that predicament. And the solution actually begins with you recognizing the problem, and seeking out help for it. You can start with writing down all the things that make you less confident, all the places and scenarios that diminish your personality, and then try talking to a trusted friend or family member about it, or your primary care doctor. In all, I want you to know that you are indeed valuable, and have an immense wealth of potentials which you can bless the world with. Don’t let them go to waste. You can do it!
To your continued success. Cheers!!!